My Last Wish

There is a bright light around me but I don’t feel the burn

I am sinking into a dream from which I cannot return

I am waiting for someone to take me to the other side

But the gathering is lessening in this cold night

I can hear the river crying as it rumbles by me

Carrying all my sorrows into the far sea

Where are the chains that were binding me to this world?

Maybe I have been set free without giving the word

Don’t worry my friends I will be going ahead to find a good spot

And I will wait for you there with the treasures you had sought

As the fire burns out and the darkness folds

A new sun rises that cuts the cold

As my journey comes to an end in a blaze of red flame

My last wish is that please do remember my name.

Sabyasachi Written by:

4 Comments

  1. HippyAdam
    January 8, 2017
    Reply

    This just dives right in there based on the context you’ve provided and what you managed to write about in that expressive manner. I like the ideas you’ve mentioned as it’s so articulate and seems to fit the poem pretty well. It’s a strong piece that focuses more on your insight and desires for the chance to feel remembered. I like where you took this poem, overall and like how you chose your viewws to express it. Great job – keep it up!

  2. Hitesh C Bhakat
    January 10, 2017
    Reply

    It is a well crafted composition with an apt title. The poem portrays a picture connoting a sense of harmony and hope. Having lived life to the extent possible driving away all dirt troubling life and rekindled with a blazing flame, the narrator wishes to be remembered by family and friends. Nicely penned creating fresh images in burning simplicity and deft brevity in expressions, the precise statement of metaphors adds beauty to the poem.

  3. Katie
    January 11, 2017
    Reply

    You have created some good line ending rhyme here which helps with the flow. A name has meaning so it’s not surprising that we would want everyone to remember us. Strong, personal thoughts with imagery building up your word picture for your reader to experience. Well done, I do encourage you to continue with your writing.

  4. Jason
    January 13, 2017
    Reply

    I am sure this piece of writing has touched all the internet visitors, its really really fastidious piece of writing.

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